My small success

When I sit down to write a post I normally have a pretty good idea of the direction it will head it. Tonight is a little different though. I know why I'm writing, but I have absolutely no idea what direction it's going to go in. So hold on tight?

If you've been following my journey thus far you know my ultimate goal is to lose weight. I've talked a lot in the past about talking with my dietitian and realizing I'm a whole slew of messed up when it comes to food/weight and I'm suppose to be focusing on healthy choices for my body and making goals for myself unrelated to my weight or size instead of putting every ounce of pressure on myself to see smaller numbers on the scale. Whoa, hello run on sentence! Anyway,  I feel like slowly but surely I'm getting there.

BUT

If you have been following along, you also know I haven't seen the scale move, either + or - since November. It's been really frustrating, disheartening, and  hard! I've tried to keep my head up though, realizing I AM making healthy choices, for me AND my family.

then last week happened.

I stepped on the scale.... I stepped off the scale.
I stepped on the scale.... I stepped off the scale.
I stepped on the scale.... I stepped off the scale.
I stepped on the scale.... I stepped off the scale.
4 times y'all!
I just couldn't believe it! 5lbs lighter... I did it, I FINALLY did it. So I did what every female would do, I text my best friend, and then my mom, and then my husband and then.... ya you get the point. I made sure a whole lot of people knew of my small success, but I knew it just had to be a flaw. Later that afternoon I decided I was going to blog about it. After all I had been waiting for MONTHS to see some movement! I stepped back on the scale, because after all every good blog has a picture!.... ya I knew it was too good to be true. I tried not to let it get it me, remember... I'm making healthy choices not for the number "not for the number" I kept repeating to myself. The next morning, camera in hand I stepped back on, not the same number as the day before but about a pound and a half off. Ok I can do this!

Well today folks, I did it again. I realize it's probably pretty unhealthy to have such emotion tied to a number on a scale, but I can't help it. Seeing a number 5 lbs smaller than what I've been looking at for almost the past 6 months, I feel like I can do anything!

I've debated doing this... actually I'm still debating as I'm typing but I told myself when I saw the scale start to move, I was going to document it. So... whoa, I can't believe I"m going to do this...
Here's my weigh in pic.

I want to be better, a better mom, a better wife, a better runner, a better cook, a better person... I"m striving to be something better, hold me accountable! Don't let me see this number again, ever!

And don't judge... it's been one heck of a ride!

(stay tuned for a post coming up titled "how did I get this way." It's sure to be a doozy!)